Anal can feel incredible, but only when the person receiving is relaxed, turned on and in control of the pace. Rushing is what makes it hurt. Go slowly, use far more lube than you think you need, and it can be a real pleasure.
- How hard is it
- Needs patience
- Best for
- Curious couples
- You need
- Lots of lube
- Even better with
- A small plug
01What to know first
The anus doesn't make its own lubrication and the muscle there tightens when you're nervous. So lube and relaxation are everything. It should never hurt. Pain means stop, add lube, or go back a step.
Both of you need to want it. Nobody should be talked into anal.
02How to prepare
-
1
Talk and agree
Decide together, and agree that the receiver can stop at any time.
-
2
Wash
A shower and a wash with warm water is enough for most people.
-
3
Get plenty of lube
Use a thick water based or silicone lube and keep it within reach.
-
4
Get turned on
Start with kissing, oral and clit or penis play.
03Go in stages
-
Outside first
Massage around the opening with a lubed finger. No going in yet.
-
One finger
Press gently and let the muscle relax and draw you in. Breathe out.
-
A small toy
Use a slim plug with a flared base to get used to the feeling.
04When you're ready for more
- Add more lube to both of you.
- The receiver backs onto the penis or toy at their own pace.
- Hold still at first and let the body adjust.
- Start with small, slow movements and keep touching the clit or penis.
05Stay safe
Use a condom to lower the risk of infections. Never go from anal to vaginal without changing the condom or washing first. Only use toys with a flared base. See safe sex and STI testing.
Where to go next
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