A safeword is a word you agree in advance that means stop, no questions asked. It lets you play rough, try roleplay or tie each other up while knowing either of you can end it in a second. That safety is what lets you let go.
- How hard is it
- Very easy
- Best for
- Rough or kinky play
- Takes
- Two minutes
- Even better with
- Regular check ins
01Why you need one
In some games "no" or "stop" is part of the fun. A safeword is a word that could never be part of the scene, so there's no confusion about what it means.
Having one doesn't mean you expect things to go wrong. It means you both feel free to go further.
02How to pick a safeword
-
1
Choose something odd
Pick a word you'd never say in bed, like pineapple or red.
-
2
Keep it short
One word, easy to remember and easy to say.
-
3
Agree a signal too
If someone is gagged or out of breath, use three taps or dropping an object.
-
4
Say it out loud
Both of you repeat it before you start.
03The traffic light system
-
Green
Everything's good. Keep going.
-
Yellow
Slow down or ease off. I'm near my limit.
-
Red
Stop everything right now.
04Checking in
- Ask "colour?" during play and wait for the answer.
- Watch their breathing, face and hands.
- Agree limits before you start, not in the heat of the moment.
- Talk about what you both want beforehand.
05Where safewords help
Use one for light bondage, spanking, rough sex, roleplay and anything new that feels intense.
Where to go next
Trusted sources
