After a few years, sex can turn into the same moves in the same order. That doesn't mean you've stopped wanting each other. It means you need something new. Small changes bring the heat back faster than you'd think.
- How hard is it
- Easy to start
- Best for
- Long term couples
- Takes
- A little effort
- Even better with
- Curiosity
01Why the spark fades
New things excite the brain, and routine doesn't. Add work, children and tiredness and sex slides down the list. The fix is novelty, time and attention.
02Start outside the bedroom
- Flirt again. Send a sext in the middle of the day.
- Kiss properly, for longer than a peck.
- Go on a real date and dress up for each other.
- Say what you find sexy about them.
- Touch in passing. A hand on the back, a squeeze.
03New things to try in bed
-
A new position
Try reverse cowgirl or a chair.
-
A toy
Bring a small vibrator to bed. See your first sex toy.
-
A game
Try a blindfold or a little roleplay.
04Change the setting
-
1
Change the room
The sofa, the shower or the kitchen.
-
2
Change the time
Morning sex or a lunchtime quickie.
-
3
Change the pace
Slow everything down, or make it fast and urgent.
-
4
Go away
A night in a hotel does wonders.
05Make it a habit
Plan a regular night for each other and take turns choosing something new. Talk about fantasies. If desire levels have drifted apart, read mismatched libido.
Where to go next
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