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Talking About Sex

You are hiding a filthy fantasy because you think it will freak him out. It is time to stop choking on your own secret and start talking dirty.

Time it takes
Ten minutes
Best for
Shy couples
Nerves level
Pretty high
Success rate
Very high

01Pick The Right Time

Do not drop your weirdest bondage fantasy while he is rushing out the door for work or scrolling through his phone on the couch. You need his full, undivided attention when you spill your guts. For more, read Understand Condom Sizes and Pleasure.

  1. 1

    After sex

    You are both warm and full of happy hormones.

  2. 2

    Away from kids

    Make sure you have total privacy in your bedroom.

  3. 3

    Sober check

    A glass of wine is fine but stay clear of total blackout territory.

  4. 4

    Calm mood

    Pick an evening when neither of you has had a massive fight.

02Start With A Soft Pitch

You do not need to walk in and demand a full weekend in a dungeon on your very first try. Dip your toes in the water by sharing a tame fantasy or reading a sexy story together out loud.

  • Mention something you saw in a movie that got you hot.
  • Ask if he has ever thought about trying a new position in the dark.
  • Compliment his body while talking about what you want to do to him.

03Keep Your Cool

If he looks surprised or laughs nervously, do not burst into tears or shut down the conversation immediately. He just needs a second for his brain to catch up with your dirty mouth.

04Frame It Around Pleasure

Make it clear that this new idea is about making both of you feel incredible and not about fixing a broken sex life. Men love to feel like they are the ones who can satisfy your deepest cravings.

  1. 1

    Focus on you

    Tell him how much it turns you on.

  2. 2

    Focus on him

    Explain what he gets out of the deal.

  3. 3

    Keep it light

    Laugh if things get awkward for a second.

  4. 4

    Stay sexy

    Use your softest, most seductive voice.

05Build A Safe Word

When you finally cross the line into new territory, you need absolute trust between the sheets. Pick a word that stops everything instantly so you both feel safe enough to get really wild.

Where to go next

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